Reporter. Shoe Thrower. Monster Fighter.

By now everyone has heard about the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoe at President Bush during a press conference in Iraq. Hell, I expect the season premiere of “LOST” to start with Jack and Ben discussing how the shoe-thrower was in some way responsible for bringing down Oceanic 815. I can understand the interest: he threw a shoe at a man who could launch nuclear weapons in response. Discussion worthy? Uh, yes.
What I don’t understand is why the reason for the shoe throwing is not being discussed. Namely, the fact that a Frankenstein’s monster was about to grab the President of the United States and do him harm, possibly including throwing him down a half-empty well with some flowers.

franken_dodge_2.jpgNotice that in this photo the Frankenstein’s monster is clearly visible and looming. This is the first shoe, and unfortunately it is sailing clear of the monster. What causes me no small amount of concern is that the monster is clearly unfazed by the shoe and the spectators. Could this indicate that he was part of some plot to get President Bush and throw him down a half-empty well with some flowers?

franken_dodge.jpgThis picture makes me thank God that man was made to have two feet. If our shoe-thrower, International Monster Fighter that he is, didn’t have a second shoe, would this well placed loafer have been thrown by someone else? Doubtful. Given the lack of response from the reporters to the monster’s presence, and the fact that Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki looks bored/conspiratorial (the worst kind of bored, and also the scariest form of conspiratorial) leads me to think that there really was some foul play afoot.

lookout.jpgFinally, our hero. As you can see, no one else is responding to the presence of the Frankenstein’s monster. In fact, some of the “journalists” appear to be trying to stop the shoe-thrower from striking the monster down. Were they in on it? Had they discussed the grabbing of the President and possibly even told the monster where a nice, half-empty well could be found? Did they buy the flowers? I choose the think “yes.” The evidence is overwhelming.