Homer Simpson’s The Illiad.

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The opening stanza…

Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus’ son… what’s his name.
You know who I’m talking about. The weird kid with the bum ankle.
Achy…something. Achy-us. Close enough…
So, sing about Achy’s anger and its devastation,
which put pains thousandfold upon the Achaians…
That can’t be right, can it? Achy and Achaians. Weren’t they a doo-wop band?
Hee Hee Hee. Doo-wop.
So, anywho
, those guys were hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls
of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting
of dogs, of all birds, and… mmmm, feasting of dogs… where was I? Oh, right and the will of Zeus, though he wasn’t Christian, was accomplished
since that time when first there stood in long-division of conflict
Atreus’s son, but lo what is the deal with these names, they can’t be right can they?

(Inspired by a tweet by @deadwhiteguys.)

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