GalleyCat compiled a list of the ten most pirated eBooks at The Pirate Bay but they neglected to tell us *why* the books were the most stolen, or *what their theft might mean* or *how annoying italics can be to read*.

1. 1000 Photoshop Tips and Tricks (or, how to make your pirated eBooks look good on your eReader)

2. Advanced Sex: Explicit Positions for Explosive Lovemaking (alternate title: Love Among the Ruins: Incorporating Carnal Pleasure Into Bridge Demolition)

3. What Did We Use Before Toilet Paper?: 200 Curious Questions (Hint: it didn’t involve ripping pages from a Kindle.)

4. Photoshop CS5 All-in-One For Dummies (Again with the “Why don’t my e-books look right?” Maybe it’s because you stole them, Mr. Steelzalot?)

5. What Rich People Know & Desperately Want to Keep a Secret (They steal all their e-books, thereby saving dollars and dollars a year.)

6. 101 Short Cuts in Maths Any One Can Do (Maths? Math. Maths. Math? Maths. Maths? Math. Maths. Maths. Maths?! Math. Math? Maths…)

7. Touch Me There!: A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots (How the Hell does this author know where “Your” hot spots are, hmmmm? And why does he/she have to point them out to *you?*)

8. How to Blow Her Mind in Bed (Show her how many books you downloaded, “For, like, you know, free and stuff.” Then say “argh.” Then put on an eye-patch. Women love a pirate.)

9. 1001 Math Problems (Math? Maths? Math…)

10. How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less (Don’t steal the books they spent years of their lives putting together.)

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This is hysterical!

Pardon me, I’m going to go steal some e-books now.

Tawna

Just how many cups of coffee have you had today?

Nice. Number five made me laugh.

So true about the eye patch. Soooo true.