Michael Ian Black hates dead people.

My feud with Michael Ian Black has just escalated.
Black-M.jpgMIB3 has done it again. 1, 2, 3, 4… MIB3 has now declared a thumbwar, feud, uh… something against George Carlin. I don’t know what it is when you declare shenanigans upon someone who’s dead, but he’s gone and done it, and done it good. And by “good” I mean “bad” and by “bad” I don’t mean “bad” as in “Oh, you’re so cool you’re bad.” I mean “You’re misbehaving against societal and cultural norms and therefore you are bad, i.e. not-good.”* So, to recap: MIB3 gets to love America before I do, and he gets to hate Devon Sedaris before I do, and now he gets to rag on a dead man before I do?
If I were a praying man I’d spit in MIB3’s face. But I’m not a praying man. Nor is MIB3 a fan of tacos, so I’ll just have to cross that off the list. It was a stupid idea anyway since it would require MIB3, spit, a taco and prayer and I don’t pray, MIB3 may or may not have a taco, I have no spit (thanks three cups of coffee for dehydrating me) and MIB3 and I aren’t even in the same state (I’m in New York, he’s somewhere having sex with supermodels on a pile of “Finding Nemo” dvd cases).
So, how to respond? I could boycott his shows but I don’t go to any shows at all (thanks 90 minute commute for leaving me with no free time). I could boycott his book but it looks like it’s really funny. I could buy him a taco and… no, again, stupid idea. I’m left with only one choice. I’ll make him boycott my book. That’s right: NO BLURB REQUEST FOR MIB3.
*Fun Fact: Frederick Nietzsche wrote about the etymology of the terms “good” and “evil” and “bad” in his roaringly funny “Beyond Good and Evil.” Key concept: “evil” has taken over the oppositional role to “good” which was originally (etymologically speaking) held by “bad.” “Good” and “bad” were opposite ends of a spectrum which was a sliding scale, if you will, of “goodness.” This was because the earliest terms for “bad” meant the lack of goodness but not the active existence of an opposing quality. Later, along came “evil”, a concept of an active opposition to “good.” When “bad” (i.e. not good) was replaced by “evil” (i.e. an active working against the good) our modern concept of the warring opposition of God v. Devil, good v. evil, or Jedi v. Sith was born. No longer was the lack of good the low point of the spectrum. The low point was now an active agent to destroy good: evil. I told you, funny stuff.

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